I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
