I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize