I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
