Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
