my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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