i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Found the puke drawer
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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