yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You don't make any sense
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