I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
