Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come share oat with me in your robe
COCAINE IS GR8
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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