so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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