just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
