i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize