Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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