If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
