Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
