Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
