I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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