Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
