You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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