I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
