the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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