I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
