Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
