my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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