Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
