Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Betty ford says i'm here all night
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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