we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
