in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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