Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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