My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
