Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
