omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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