is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it because I queefed?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
