Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
