oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
