so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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