I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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