my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
