Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
