omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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