You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
