I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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