fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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