Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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