I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
