He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
