ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
