I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
