I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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