Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
