Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the day after is always just damage control
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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