You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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