omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
