i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
