she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have fence marks all over my body
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
