im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
