Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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