I want to walk on stilts...naked
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
