just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
